Thursday, June 23, 2011


What's that Army saying again? Besides "BEAT ARMY!" of course.

We do more before 9 am than most people do all day, is it?

I think they're talking about Mommy *not* Army.

Let's begin the day:

4:50 am-Rise and shine

5:15 am-Head out the door for a hilly 8-miler. Curse at the heat and unusual humidity upon leaving house.

5:15-6:25 am-Sweat ass off on run.


6:36 am-Send e-mail to coach complaining about heat.

6:37 am-Complain again about heat to husband. Kiss husband goodbye as he leaves for MANDATORY green belt training courtesy USMC (Bahahahahaha!).

6:47-6:57 am-Ice old lady hip.

6:58 am-Run around like crazy woman herding cats. Listen to INCESSANT whining about outfits, teeth brushing, not being able to wear flip-flops to school, more whining from Tyler about how Colin gets to stay home (has a fever) while he has to go to AWFUL preschool where he has a GREAT time every day, etc.

7:19 am-Check weather on iPhone...immediate regret. Curse weather.

7:21 am-Have Tyler take random garage photo of me to put him in a better mood... Distraction SO works with this kid.

  • Leaning Tower of Allison. Also, I have no idea why my headlights are on. It's at least 85 degrees in the garage at this point.
7:33 am-Drop off Evan at Bass Fishing Camp (which he LOVED this week). I figured it could have gone either way. Last year he was MISERABLE at the Diamondbacks baseball camp. I mean M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E. This camp was $60 (about 1/4th of the cost of the baseball camp) and he had a TON more fun.

Caught a baby catfish yesterday!

7:35-7:45 am-Exhausting 10 minute ride to the Marine Corps Base. Listened to a plethora of bitching/whining/fighting from Colin and Tyler. Here's a snippet for your reading pleasure:

Tyler: "You're DUMB!"
Colin: "I'm not DUMB! I'm Colin Johnson! You're DUMB!"
Tyler: "I'm not DUMB! I'm Tyler!"

Repeat X 5 minutes.

Breathe. Try not to swerve van into oncoming traffic on the other side of the freeway.

7:45 am-Arrive to childcare. Fight with Tyler about putting his shoes on. Listen to screaming and crying about shoes. Start wondering if someone thinks I'm beating him with all the racket going on inside the van.

What? You mean you don't drive around with an empty Lego container in your car?
7:55 am-Finally. Shoes are on. Grouchingly walk across parking lot to class.

8:08 am-FINALLY exit building after emotional, clingy goodbye from Tyler. (???) My money says he was fine about 2-1/2 minutes after I left. That's how it was yesterday at least... 

8:10 am- Colin falls in parking lot. Again. Just like he does nearly every day.

8:13 am-

Emotional from hand injury sustained during fall
8:23 am-
Oh thank God. Mama and Colin need a hit.
8:30 am-

...and all is right with the world. Peace, serenity and sanity arrive at 8:30 am sharp.
(Yes, I am *that* mom who soothes her child with a cake pop for breakfast.)

PS-Pay no attention to the complete and utter disgustingness of the car seat straps. 


  1. Don't all car seat straps look like that?

    That is seriously hot weather you have there!

  2. Oh God! I seriously LOVE this! This is my life minus the 82 degrees, 2 small boys, and nasty carseat straps! Insert, nasty rain and wind, a preteen and teenage daughter fighting about crackle nailpolish and headbands until chunks of hair are scattered about and we're even!!

    OK-and laughed out loud at the leaning tower of Allison and the unfortunate injury sustained in the fall-bahaha!!

    Hey, I'm way behind here but just wanted to thankyou so much for your sweet comments! Truly meant a lot to me:)

  3. Oh my word. we have the same life. No joke. Including the disgusting seat straps and pink cake pop. amazing what those babies can do for whining/crying/fighting kids. I heart cake pops and starbucks!! at 1.50 it's also about the cheapest thing I can get there! :) I can't believe you're heat. You are one tough woman.

  4. that would be YOUR heat. not 'you are' heat. ;)

  5. Sounds like my mornings. ;) And the cakepop was definitely worth it because look at that happy face.

  6. yep, ok, I'm officially a whiny lazy-head. I'll remember this schedule the next time I want to pout about waking up at 6:00 a.m.