Monday, October 10, 2011

A Half Day in the Life of JOATMON

"Brevity is the soul of wit," said Shakespeare.

In both the spirit of brevity and wit, I present to you, "A Half Day in the Life of JOATMON."

(Jack of All Trades... Master of None. Get it? That's me! Wah wah.)

The day started off pretty standard. Living in a house of penises, I can expect mention of a phallus at least once during each 24-hour period of my life. This morning did not disappoint. My 5-year old interrupted my shower at 5:45 am by asking if he could join me. I declined, seeing as how he's reached Kindergarten, and my husband and I feel like it's time to phase mommy's nudity out.

"Hmmph," he complained. "I wish I could be 4 again!"

I finished up my shower and opened the door to find said non-4-year old on my bathroom floor.

"I'm touching my penis," he says.

"Alright, "I say. "Stop doing that in here, ok? Do that somewhere else." I tell him.

"Fine, I'll touch my butt!!!" he retorts.

The sad part is that I didn't even flinch. It wasn't the reaction from him that I was expecting; nonetheless, I wasn't surprised. Not even a little.

Moving on with the morning....

The blessing and curse of today is that it's a holiday. Blessing = don't have to get kids ready for school and can shuffle early am responsibility completely to husband. Curse = I have a crapton of grad school work and papers to grade (and a blog entry to write so I can win a t-shirt) and no kid-free day in which to get it done. The other curse part is that the school where I teach didn't observe the holiday. Off to school it was for me this am!!

It actually worked out well because I decided to incorporate SUAR's challenge to my students. For their first essay (we are starting the 2nd 8 weeks of a 16-week course today), they will write a 3-paragraph paper on a day in their lives. I thought it would be a fun way to get them engaged in writing and help them focus on their creativity.

SUAR, you've made it to the big time. You're beaming from my projector.

Everyone wave hi, and act like you're happy to be in my class!

They actually look like they're having fun. Is it because there are only 5 minutes of class left? Methinks yes.

I shared SUAR's blog entry and it was met with a few chuckles. You can't please everyone, and I am thinking some of the girls didn't find the toilet humor as hilarious as myself and the other varmints in the class, but it is what it is. You can't deny SUAR's creativity and vivid details/descriptions. That's how I want my students to write.

Sort of.

Maybe less fart/butt/poop and more SAT words but still... Creative is GOOD. Making a connection with your reader... EXCELLENT!

Have I kissed enough ass to win a t-shirt? No? I shall continue...

 "Wooooooooooooooow!" was the reaction when I showed my students the view that SUAR has on her way to work. We desert rats are used to this:

Wow. Just wow.


Stunning. But not in a good way... At all.

Class ends, time for one more class (I'm a part-timer) and then off to pick up my boys. My husband arranged his flight schedule so that he could watch them until my classes were over.

Naturally, there's a long line to get on base.

It's not construction, but it's a line. Both cuss-inducing events.

I arrive at my destination and pick up the boys from the brig. (If you read the Wiki definition, you'll notice that it says "penal" in there. Heh heh heh heh. Penal.)

Have fun, kiddos? I hope nobody bent over to pick up the soap...

Alright, alright. It wasn't the brig. Kind of looks like it though, huh? I had to work that picture in there somehow. It was actually the front of my husband's squadron. He's a badass defender of our freedom.

"I'll see you at 8 pm, " he's saying here. 8 pm is bedtime for the boys. Nice try, honey.
(He also made fun of me for making it a priority to blog for a contest when all I do is bitch about how much time I don't have to get things done. Hey. A JOATMON has priorities to dabble in it all.)

What was I saying about brevity? Oh yeah. Let's wrap this up. 

Home for lunch, nap time for the littlest one and a babysitter for the big boys....

Ta da!!! Today's feature is Scooby Doo and the Goblin King.

I realize that I look blurry and almost faceless here. Tyler is having an off day with his iPhotos.

That's a wrap for my exciting half day! 


  1. you crack me up! love your vanna white TV modeling! I relate to all the penis talk in this house. Thought it was just the age but I'm thinking it's going to carry on all my life!! :) And check it out...blogging making it to the college classroom. Nice!! We have arrived. :)

  2. hilarious! love Tyler on your bathroom floor. Bwahahahaha!

  3. HAHA! Found your blog through SUAR. Gotta love a fellow runner mom/military wife. We're a rare breed. I look forward to reading your blog!!

  4. Came over from SUAR and you are sooo funny. Thanks for sharing half of your day with me.

    Also thanks for your husband's service and your family's sacrifice. It's appreciated!

  5. Too funny! Found you on SUAR. A big Congrats to you! Also, thanks to your hubby for protecting us. Our neighbor is a fighter pilot as well. Y'all are amazing...both you ladies and your hubsters!