Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Straight Poop on the Temecula Half

Alrighty roo. Here goes nothin'. Grab a coffee and/or a NoDoz.

*Let me preface this by saying that I apologize because I have NO good pictures of the race. This was a quick "mommy's mental health" 27-hour trip to Cali. I went sans husband/kiddos and met my running partner and her husband in Temecula for the race. 

We'll start by rewinding to the day prior...Hindsight being 20/20, I probably shouldn't have eaten that ENTIRE plate of thai food (chicken with LOTS of veggies... aka FIBER) for a late dinner and then stopped at Circle K for this:

I didn't eat 6 of them (just 1), but I probably could have. 

Race morning I had a 1/2 cup of coffee and something called a Bonk Breaker bar. I had purchased it at REI in San Diego along with the PreRace stuff that I mentioned in another blog entry. Roserunner, I included the link for you. A little bit about it... First off, it's pricey. I was expecting to get one of those giant containers like what you get when you buy powdered sports drink. Uh, not so much. It's in a tiny little grandma's cold cream-sized container. There are 20 servings total and it cost $40. I didn't realize that it wasn't flavored. Yeah, it's kind of nasty. You're supposed to mix a scoop with your favorite sports drink and drink it 30 minutes prior to exercise. I did just that. I can't say that I noticed anything incredible; however, I didn't notice any negative side effects (e.g. heart beating out of my chest, the shakes, etc.). The verdict is still out. I'm going to need to try it a few more times and really pay attention to my runs and my fatigue level.

So let's get to the race...First of all, let's start with the course. They had to make some changes to it (yada, yada, something about traffic, yada), and this is what it ended up looking like.


(Side note: I have no idea how to take this from my Garmin report screen and turn it into something professional looking that I can download and post onto my blog. So I took a picture of my computer screen with my iPhone. I'm dumb, I know.)

At 7:30 am, they had us start the race in waves of 10 or so. They'd let a new wave go every minute. Kind of goofy, but because we would be running single file after we exited the winery onto the main road, it had to be done. I think I was in the 4th wave. Also, you can't see it, but we ran up a very steep hill for about 30 seconds right off the bat before the big downhill that you see.

That sucked.

I started out with my running partner and her husband, but she took off like a race horse. Her pace was too fast for me, so off they went. When I got to the first mile marker, I looked down at my Garmin.

Mile 1: 8:07

Yep. Too fast for today. Slow down.

It was at this point that I realized I was missing my iPod. I had planned to run without it so I could get into my head a little more, but I was having regrets now.

I settled into a nice comfortable pace and chugged along from Miles 2-6.5. Things were pretty uneventful except for the fact that my bladder seemed to be filling up by the minute. At the turnaround point,  I couldn't stand it anymore, so I decided to stop and pee. The problem was that there was really nowhere to do it. There had been a porta-potty around mile 3ish. Naturally, I didn't have to go then, but I did now. There's no way I could have made it all the way back to that same shitter (which was at mile 10ish on the return leg), which by the way, was the ONLY ONE ON THE ENTIRE COURSE. Ridiculous.

I figured that I had no choice but to drop my shorties behind a volunteer's parked car at the aid station. So that's what I did. Sorry dude! You gotta do what you gotta do. I was somewhat discrete.

I also decided that since I had just peed and was at a place where there was water,  I might as well take my GU gel while here. The aid stations were few and far between-like one every 3 miles. I figured now was the time to refuel, so I opened my packet of what proved to be "instant diarrhea" instead of "racing fuel" and sucked it down with two smallish cups of water. Big mistake.

By Mile 9, I was hurting.

I actually started in with the mental stuff right about here. Bear with me as this part is really cheesy, and I'm almost too embarrassed to type it. I decided at this point in the race to pick a focus word. I tried STRONG. "Be strong." "You're strong." 

Meh. Wasn't feeling it.

Then (*giggle*) the word FIERCE popped into my head. "You're fierce." "Be fierce."I think I actually said it out loud. Bahahaha! (No one was around me at this point. I'm not that much of a loser!) I don't know... It felt right, so I went with it. I used it a lot to attack the hills in the second half.

Mile 10 and the shitter is in sight! Thank God!


BTW, Miles 7 and 10 came out to a 9:08 pace because of the breaks. Boo.

After I unload my intestines, I'm feeling much better, and I'm feeling ready to end this already. I pick it up...

Mile 12: 8:05

Mile 12 is where I see 3 guys ahead of me. The one closest to me sealed his fate when I noticed that he kept continuing to turn around to see how close I was getting. Yeah, buddy, I know exactly what you're thinking. And yes. You are about to be chicked in the last mile by a broad wearing a sparkly red skirt. SNAP!

So yeah, I had to pass him. And the other two right in front of him.

That brings us to Mile 13. There was a HORRIBLE hill at the end right before the finish line. Like, so horrible I walked for about 30 seconds of it. Who is the idiot that designed this course?

Mile 13: 8:53

Last .18 according to my Garmin was at an 8:21 pace.

Anyway, I'm really pleased with how it all played out.

I ran a 1:53:

a) coming back from an injury
b) with only 1 10-miler the week prior (my last long run had been a 14-miler on 7/24)
b) on a tough course with lots of hills (something we don't have in Yuma)
c) having lost at least 2 minutes due to potty stops.

But, I will say this. Perhaps I could have shaved off another 5-10 minutes or so had I seen this guy:

One of the runners posted this on Facebook and said they saw it on the course.

Sweet Mother of God. I can't decide if that would have resulted in a 1:43 or death for me. Maybe both?


  1. Okay, I have to come back in the morning to comment adequately because I'm sooo tired but I have to say that your picture of the guy on the toilet has me laughing. :) and holy elevation!

  2. I love that you have the picture from Dumb and Dumber. I am going to admit it, it is like one of my all time favorite favorite movies. And I think hills at the end of a race is just evil!

  3. Boo for die-a-rear! But sounds like you still had fun and a great attitude for the race.

    And I'm no expert but what I do is hit the "print screen" button on keyboard, open "paint", paste with "control-v", save-as a jpg and then open in whatever I like to crop and viola there is my blog-worthy screen pics! I hope that helps (assuming you understand what I am trying to share :P)

  4. Thank you kindly for the link. :) since you aren't as excited about it as your friend was, I think I'll hold out till I hear more...

    great report, and great run on a tough course with little time to train for it!

  5. Sounds like a tough race! Fiber is NOT my friend either. Just give me the sugar, straight.
    Those were some tough hills. You did well!

    BTW- I came from Michelle's (runn princess runn) blog.

  6. you are hardcore, allison. Way to press on even through the poop factor. Awful. congrats on a great race.