Friday, October 14, 2011

Not Dreading the Dreadmill... Sort of

But first... I want to thank those of you who commented on my last blog entry. I really appreciate your thoughtful words about my husband's service. So thank you for the thank yous!! (or something like that). I even gained a couple of new followers, bringing me to 29. 

I am well on my way to becoming famous.

Next-before we dive into why the treadmill doesn't always suck-I present you with a "Shameless Mommy Brag."

My kiddo was in last Sunday's paper! (He won the boys 8U 25 Fly with a new PR of 20.40 seconds.)

Last night, I decided to be social (for once), and I dined with 4 other squadron wives. It was really fun and a good reminder that all work and no play makes me a really dull and bitchy person. At any rate, one of the wives presented me with a copy of last Sunday's paper and said, "Did you see this?" I did not, in fact!! So cool. I knew that a photographer from the paper was at Evan's swim meet last Saturday and had taken some pictures of him. I made a mental note to check the paper the following day, but then I forgot because we had another day of swimming followed by a school bbq. Too much going on! I remembered again on Monday and checked online to see if he was in there and nothing was mentioned, so I forgot about it again. I'm so happy that my friend saw it and saved it for me! I look forward to putting it in Evan's swimming scrapbook. He was excited to see it this morning too.

So let's move on to the meat and potatoes of this meal. Or would it be just the meat? Whatever.

When I think of the treadmill, I think of this:

I feel like a hamster going nowhere on the treadmill. I HATE going nowhere. I'm kind of like that in life too. I have never been stagnant. I'm always moving forward. Always looking over the horizon. I admit it. I live my life too much in the future. Whether I'm concentrating on getting another degree, training for my next marathon, getting my last child to realize that crapping in a toilet and wearing Elmo underwear is the coolest thing in the world, I am always looking forward the next big accomplishment in my life.

So we've established how normally I'm not a fan of the treadmill. Wednesday and Thursday involved the treadmill, and oddly enough, I found myself actually calling it that in lieu of its normal nickname: The Dreadmill. Why?

For starters, and for those of you who are new to my blog, I owe a huge debt of gratitude to the Alter G for helping me deal with my recent 8-week tibia/calf/not exactly sure injury. Because I had access to an AG and used it diligently (obsessively), I feel like I have lost very little fitness. I've lost some endurance because the longest mileage that I logged on it was 7 miles. However, I've lost just a fraction of my speed. I'm starting to eek back up to my pre-injury pace, and I realize that without this fantastic tool, I would be nowhere near where I am currently.

What else?

Here are 3 more reasons why the treadmill doesn't suck:

1) The Rape Prevention Factor


Thanks for the reminder that we live in a shady, shithole town, Holly. For real.

This incident brought this story back to the forefront of my mind. After this happened, my husband bought me a handheld pepper spray that I've gotten out of the habit of carrying on my runs. Not anymore!

Yep. On the treadmill, I can run without the fear of being raped. SCORE!

2) Garminless Days and the Thrill of Seeing my Pace

I'm running naked these days, so being on the treadmill has been a real treat because I get to see exactly how fast I'm running. I know you other Type-A runners can relate. Woo hoo! I feel a little bit more in control, plus I get to practice my mental math now that I'm back to seeing my paces.

That brings me to #3.

3) Improving My 3rd Grade Math Skills and Keeping my Elderly Mom Brain in Shape

Aren't you supposed to do crossword puzzles and whatnot when you get older so your brain doesn't die? Seems like playing number games on the treadmill is an acceptable substitute, no?

Thursday Workout Brain Conversation:

Alright, I just finished my first warm-up mile. Let's figure out how to finish 6 miles in less than 55:20, which is what I did yesterday. That was a 9:13 pace, I think. Or was it 9:12? Hmmm.. Let's bump it up to 9:31 pace for the next couple of miles and see what that does. Ok, we're at 19:41 for 2 miles. What's that pace average? Hmmm. 19 divided by 2 is 9 something... Then I have 41 seconds... Wait. Don't I have to carry a 1 somewhere? So put that by the four. That's 14. Divided by two is 7. 7?!?! How does a 7 work in relation to seconds? There's only 60 seconds in a minute. SHIT! How do I do this? 

This goes on for the duration of the run at .5 to 1.0 mile intervals and since I seem to often miscalculate intervals, before I know it, I've run like another 1.5 miles and I'm that much closer to 6 miles. Sweet! It pays to be Gumpish at math!

And so with these three things in mind, I have found that I detest the treadmill less and less each day.

How about you? Are you a natural treadmill fan? If not, have you found tricks and/or psyche shifts to change your relationship with it?


  1. You seriously crack me up! I went to dinner last night with some wives as well - wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be ;)

    Another couple of reasons I don't mind the treadmill - dogs won't come after me, idiots don't almost run me over, and when it's nice and chilly here I can always opt for a sweatfest at the gym.

    Plus, it's always motivating to walk into the gym and have your typical Soldier running at a blazing speed next to you.

    I neither love nor hate it, but I find that my mood beforehand dictates how much fun/hell it will be.

    Kudos to the kiddo for the PR and getting a spot in the paper!! How COOL!

  2. Well, I think you know where I stand on the treadmill! Glad you have made peace with it.

    Holy smokes a 20 second fly at 8u? I see Olympics in his future!

  3. I don't hate it but if the weather is good for running I would always prefer outside. But with kids, sometimes you just need to use one. I am also trying to get my youngest to crap on the toilet! UGH! Is there anything more frustrating?

  4. lmao @ your brain conversation on the treadmill, that is so familiar, my friend. I watch fresh prince or saved by the bell on the treadmill and it helps. its finally cooled down enough for me to run outside though!